Answer the Question
by Warrioroftheseventhstar
Summary: We all have questions for the characters. This is an interview with Dan Phantom. There is some bashing, but it's Dan. Lots of humor and a small hit of romance. Please click.


Another one-shot about Dan. I couldn't resist it!

A young girl walks into a large room with two chairs and a single wooden table.

Girl: Hello! {Wave's at readers} I'm Addison! I was asked here by my creator! She wanted me to interview Dan, because we all want to answer the question, 'is Dan Phantom crazy?' {walks off to a gray door. Opens it and grabs the thermos of Dan Phantom.} I will now release him.

{Addison opens the thermos to release him. Dan flies out.}

Addison: Hello Dan! I have a few questions for you, and then you can go on with your life outside of time.

Dan: {cocks and eyebrow, frowning} What life? I am stuck in a freakin thermos.

Addison: I wasn't planning on putting you back in the thermos…..

Dan: I'm going to blow you up now. Ta ta! {Raises his glowing hand}

Author: {disembodied voice} Dan, if you use any of your powers against her, I will not only put you back in the thermos, I will place you in a room with a Boy band CD, set to play over and over again! You've already destroyed two others.

Dan:{Lowers his hand} Fine! I'll answer your freakin questions!

{He walks and takes the large leather chair}

Addison: Um…. That was supposed to be my chair…… {cowers in fear and Dan glowers at her.}

{Dan smirks}

Author: Don't even think about it!

{Dan glares at the ceiling}

{Addison takes the other chair}

Addison: Okay. Question one. Do you miss your friends and family?

Dan: No. I'm a super villain with no humanity. Do you think I feel Lose? Why would I feel Loss. I don't miss them! No! What a stupid question.

Author: He's lying.

Dan: Am not.

Addison: Are too.

Dan: Are Not!

Addison: ARE FREAKIN TOO!!!

Dan: {glares at the ceiling} Why are most of the OC's you send to me insane?

Author: Because none of the sane ones would step into a room with you.

Dan: But I'm extremely good looking and look at all these muscles! Everyone thinks I'm the sexy villain! What sane person wouldn't want to meet me?

Author: For starter, you're arrogant as can be, and you destroyed the freaking world, dip stick.

Dan:{silence} Have you been hanging out with Ember?

Author: No. Addison. Next question!

Addison: Do you miss Sam or Tucker the most?

Dan: I just told you I don't mi-

Addison: {interrupts} Do we need to go through all that again?

Dan:{mumbles something}

Addison: Say again?

Dan: I miss Sam the most! Alright?

Addison: {smiles} Yes. Much! Question three. Why did you kill Lancer in the explosion?

Dan: He pissed me off in school. I call it a head for an eye.

Addison:{blank stare}

Dan: {Sighs} You know, like the ancient law and eye for an eye? I take more than they take, so a head for an eye?

Addison: Oh! I get it! {Starts laughing}

Dan: How could she not understand wit? You love wit! As in you think people are stupid if they don't have it.

Author: She's a work in progress.

Dan:{nods his flaming head} Okay. I can live with it.

Addison: {stops laughing} Actually your dead! Okay back on track. Question four. Did you ever check to see if any of your family stayed as a ghost? Or your friends?

Dan: Yes. Tucker stayed long enough to make sure his PDA was taken care off.

Addison: And then?

Dan: {shrugs} He crossed over. Said it was his time and that he'd be waiting for me.

Addison: Didn't he care that you were evil?

Dan: This was before I killed my humanity.

Addison: Question five. Isn't it weird that you were your first victom?

Dan: Kind of. I have to say, a few days later I thought about that one. Laughed a while at the irony of it.

Addison: Question six. Since there is already a ghost of Danny Fenton, could your human half have become a ghost?

Dan: No, the ghost is actually a piece of the soul that chooses to stay behind in this world. Young Danny ripped that piece out of himself when I was born. The only parts left of him could only move on.

Addison: Question seven. What happens to a ghost if it gets killed?

Dan: It goes on to another plane, or is forced to rejoin its other soul piece.

Addison: Question eight. Do you hate Vlad, since he is now a part of you?

Dan: Yes, Vlad's hatred of my father was warped by my ghost half into hatred of Vlad Masters.

Addison: Question nine. Is there any other way Danny could become you?

Dan: Duh! He still is going to turn into me. I am completely controlled by my past. If he didn't turn into me, I would cease to exist.

Addison: But you now exist out of time.

Dan: Yeah, but Clockwork lies a lot.

Addison: You're only saying that because he shook the thermos a few times.

Dan: Bull crap! He shook it at least four times a week!

Addison: Whatever! Question ten. Why did you keep the sign of Danny Phantom, the hero, on your uniform?

Dan: To remind the people of Amity Park just what I was. What they had helped create. Isn't it worse to die by a friend's hand than a stranger's?

Addison: I guess. Question eleven. Why is it that people keep pairing you and Danny together in fanfiction? Or Clockwork? Or Vlad? And Tucker?

Dan:{Pained expression} Because some people are even crazier than the fruitloop. Seriously! I am in love with someone else! And, news flash! I'm. Not. GAY!!!! What makes you people think I'm gay?

Addison: Maybe it's the skin tight uniform, or the sexy voice, or you're good looking?

Dan: That is sex appeal to women!

Addison: But you're not taken! All of the super hot guys like you are either taken or gay. You're single, so you must be gay!

Dan: {Slaps his face in annoyance} My love is dead! SHE is dead. I am not moving on with a guy. In fact, anytime I think about having mercy on someone or something, I think about her! Always makes me pissed enough to kill anything!

Addison: Question twelve. Who do you love?

Dan: Have you not been filled in on the show? I love Sam. It use to be all tender and sweet, but now it's full of anger and passion with a little bit of remorse sprinkled in. Tucker never said anything about her moving on like he did with my family. I wait for her. In my waiting, I destroy the world. Tit for tat.

Addison: Okay, so there isn't some OC out there that you are pinning for?

Dan: {Glares dangerously} No. Do I need to say it again?

Addison: {Laughs nervously} No. Not at all.

Dan: Any other questions?

Addison: Yeah. What did you do to Johnny thirteen? He was in a wheel chair.

Dan: {smirks evilly} He challenged the wrong ghost to a motorcycle race. I won. I took my winnings out of his hide.

Addison: Question fourteen. Do you have any kids?

Dan: Um…… no………. I'm going to regret asking this, but why do you ask?

Addison: Well, there are multiple fanfic where you have a love child with Vlad, Maddie, Danny, Clockwork, or Tucker.

Dan: {looks up} Can I have some bleach? {bottle of bleach falls out of the sky} Now how do I beach my brain? {Thinks about the question for a moment} How is that even possible? {Looks at Addison} Yeah, I regret asking.

Addison: Next question. How did you get so rip?

Dan: I was a super villain, who's only goal was to destroy the world and in so doing, beating all the ghosts. How do you think I got rip in ten years?

Addison: No need for sarcasm.

Dan: {still being sarcastic} Really?

Addison: {glares} Yes. Really. Question sixteen. Can you have children?

Dan: {Blushes} Why do you want to know?

Addison: I just do. Should I take that as a no?

Dan: No! I can have children. Ghosts can have kids. Example of this? Box Lunch. {Shivers} That is still wrong.

Addison: Yes it is. Question seventeen. Why do you have flames for hair? Vlad didn't, Danny didn't, and so what's the deal?

Dan: How am I supposed to know that? {Looks at her in pure loathing}

Addison: {Shrugs} I don't know. I wouldn't ask if I knew.

Dan: For the love of…. You know what? You must be the village idiot! EVERYTHING goes over your head!

Addison: There are no need for insults. Question eighteen. Which uniform do you like best? Danny Phantom's, Vlad Plasmiu's, or your own?

Dan: Duh! Mine! I wouldn't wear it if I didn't like it.

Addison: Question nineteen. Are you angsty, or just evil?

Dan: Depends on how I feel that day. Sometimes I'm playful.

Addison: Last Question. Are you crazy?

Dan: No, I am perfectly sane. I'm just completely evil, fueled by betrayal, pain, and hatred. Why is it that you have to be crazy to be evil?

Addison: Oh that's easy! You are in a cartoon. Good always wins in cartoons. So you must be crazy to think you can win.

{Dan takes a large breath before releasing it, as the Ghostly Wail. Addison dies in it.}

Dan: Looky there. I just won. I'm evil and she was good. I guess it wasn't impossible. {He smirks to himself}

Author: Daniel Vlad PHANTOM!! I told you not to kill her!

Dan:{Sweat drops} I was just destroying a bad one! She was a complete idiot! {Seeing the lightening clouds gathering, he changes tactics} I let her ask all of her questions! That last comment was offensive and uncalled for! I was just showing her my immense displeasure!

Author: I was going to have you and Sam's ghost reunite, but I don't think I will for a while. Maybe in a year or two.

Dan: {Glares} Fork her over, or I kill all of your characters! Even your book characters.

Author: No. You have to go one for one week without Sam. But, I will give you the addresses of all of those people that wrote those horrible fanfics about you! {A list appears in his hand. Dan smiles evilly} There you go. Knock yourself out. Not literally!

Dan: {rolls his eyes} Yes mame, mommy dearest!

Author: Keep the cold villain thing. Sarcastic villain doesn't suit you.

Dan: {sighs in utter annoyance while rolling his crimson eyes} Can I leave now?

Author: Yes, just be back in a week.

{Dan flies out with murder shining in his eyes}

Author: Do review. I might even post Sam and Dan's reunion. Should be funny right? Just review. I don't own Dan. Even if I wish I did.


End file.
